asked myself if today could be any shittier … and my cat said yes,yes it can by gracefully puking inside of the one pair of shoes i need to wear tomorrow
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
— Maya Angelou
- me: (texting my dad) Hey, have you seen the remote?
- *an hour later, my dad calls*
- dad: You're looking for what? The remote? I dunno, it was at the house when I left. Hang on, I'm up the street. I can't find my car. Oh shit, that's not my car. I just tried to get into the wrong car. Uhh... Oh! Found my car.
- *dramatic pause as he struggles to get into his car*
- dad: Hey, guess what's on my seat?
- me: Oh my god.
- dad: Yup. What. A. Dummy. Must've thought it was my phone or something. Don't know WHAT I was thinking!
- PROOF THAT I DID NOT CHOOSE THE LIFE OF A WALKING TALKING HOT MESS, BUT THAT IT'S IN MY GENES (HOW LUCKY) *SIIIIIIIIIGH*